Christmas has Come and Gone

This year was a small Christmas with my folks. We had Christmas eve at our house and made enough tamales to support a very small country, but a country none the less. I will be eating them for about a week and the rest will have to go in the fridge. This a fun tradition for us and I look forward to it every year.

Christmas day we went to my folks and had a lovely meal and shared gifts. I am looking forward to using my pressure cooker and prep blender. Dustin is totally enamored with Clap Your Hands (Puppet Book). He wants Elmo to sing to him ALL day long. My hand gets tired and Elmo needs to take frequent naps. However, it is totally cute to see Dustin get so excited about it.

I have enjoyed that we focused more on family and less on gifts. This has taken the pressure and stress out of the holiday and gave us space to focus on what what important, that we are together. My house was not decorated and we did not put up a tree, but we were not lacking for cheer.

Even if next year is better and I really hope it is, I want to continue to focus on family and less on the commercialism of the holiday.

Been so long, I missed you

Today's news is both exciting and terrifying. Dustin took his first steps yesterday. My husband & I were both there to witness it and cheer. Now, will be the terrifying reality that he will be running soon. Very much looking forward to all of the fun things we will be able to do together, but especially not having to carry him all the time.

Funny to think about how much I take walking for granted. Seeing Dustin stand, for him, it seems to take so much effort. These moments are special and so very exciting.

Tales of Bad Sleep Habits - Part 2

After 3 days, I was have had little or no whimpering at bed time. He only cried the first day and a half. It is wonderful to put him to bed without any fussing. Now, when he is tired, he will start to put his head on my shoulder and get all snuggly. This is truly awesome.

Yesterday at the fair, he took a nap in the stroller. I was concerned that he would not get his afternoon nap and we would have to leave early. This being able to sleep on his own will hopefully make our up coming trip that more pleasant.

Whoo Hoo!

Bottle, Boob or Boo-Hoo - Tale of Bad Sleep Habits

Well, I thought this would never happen to me, but it did. My child has been trained to fall asleep with a bottle or after nursing. I know, I know... During the day I needed some me time and he would go to sleep without screaming, so I got into the habit of sticking something in his mouth. Now, I am totally ashamed and from all his screaming as he is learning to sleep on his own.

The good news is that the process is going a bit better than I expected. Watching Dustin's cues is a big part of it. We have always had a routine during the day, but I had gotten a bit lax about it at night. For the last two nights, we had a rigid schedule. Dinner, bath, wind down and sleep.

The first night it worked well. Last night, there was screaming for 20 minutes. Do not get the wrong impression, I am not letting him scream without going in there to comfort him. I set the timer for 5 minutes, go in, pat his back and tell him I love him. Next, I set the timer for longer and repeat process. This whole thing really fries my nerves. Who knew a child could protest so loudly, when they are clearly exhausted. This morning there was light protesting and after 10 minutes he was out. Let's hope the rest of the day goes as well.

Do you have any advice or tips that have worked? I would be happy to hear them.

Have Baby , Will Travel

Yesterday, Dustin & I just got back from a trip to Grandma's house. We had to go over a river, but not through the woods.

Traveling for 3 hours in a car with Dustin, alone, was a cause for concern. The ride there was not a problem. We left an hour and a half passed his nap time, so he was really tired. In addition, I fed him a bottle right before we left, so he was in a food induced coma. The car was barely out of the driveway before he was asleep. Yay, me!

The first stop was for gas, but since he was already a sleep it was not a problem. The second stop was for a drive through at Del Taco. He fused a bit, but was back asleep once I got on the freeway again. Although I had to pee like a race horse when we got to our destination, no other stops were scheduled.

Coming home was a different story... I fed him before we left, but I nursed him and he went to sleepytown before he finished the bottle. This turned out to be a mistake. Dustin woke up at about 1.5 hours into the trip. So, I stopped in Benica to change him a possibly grab a snack. Plus, the stretch was appreciated. We find the restroom and there is NO changing table. This is the first stop after the bridge and many families were stopping there.

Changing Dustin on the floor in the restroom was not as fun as I was hoping. This mom and child were in the way and blocking one of the restrooms. One of the workers comes in a asks if the restroom I am blocking is open. I confirmed that it was and if she could wait for me to finish snapping my son I will get out of the way. She says it is too bad that they do not have a changing table. Yeah, that was helpful. Maybe they should do something about that. Since I was so annoyed, I left without a snack or using the bathroom my self. Ugh!

We make it the rest of the way without incidence as I gave Dustin a cracker before we left and a bottle. He did not go back to sleep, but he was content and that is really all that matters. Next time I make that trip, I will know better than to stop in Benica and plan ahead.

Hopefully, our trip in August via plane to Kentucky will go as smoothly. I am nervous. Please share any of your travel tips. I would greatly appreciate it.

Favorite Finds 6-26-09

This weeks fav finds are simple every day items that have made a world of difference for me.

BabySteps Complete Feeding System - What I use most in this system is the Electric Food mill. It is super easy to clean, quiet and fast. The freezer trays are a bit hard to twist, but they are space saving and I do not have to keep the food in them until my son eats it. Once the food is frozen, I put it out and place it in freezer bags. Then I can fill the trays up again with a different flavor. The manual food mill takes a bit of strength, but it is hand for travel or going to a restaurant. My second favorite item is the bowl with lid and spoon. The frozen food fits right into the divided tray and the spoon comes with its own carrying case. Super convenient and handy.

Soft-Tip Infant Spoons - 6pk - These spoons are comfortable in my hand and have a long handle. The colors are fun and my son enjoys banging them on his tray. Unlike the other spoons I have used, these have not become stained by carrots or other colorful foods. These would also make a great baby shower gift/center piece by putting them in a bucket with sand and tying bows just below the spoon.

Munchkin Mozart Magic Cube - My son loves this item. What I like is that it does not get on my nerves like other noisy toys. He enjoys the cause and effect of touching the buttons and he can add and subtract the different instruments. I find myself singing with the cube from teh other room when I hear it.

I hope you enjoy these items as much as I do. Please feel free to purchase from these links as it helps to pay for hosting fees for my blog. Thank you!

Baby Food Time

As I am about out of the supply of homemade baby food in the freezer, I am thinking about different veggies to try with Dustin this time around. So far, he has like carrots, green beans, eggplant, zucchini, acorn squash and sweet potato. The only thing he is not a huge fan of is bananas.

While at the grocery store today, I was hoping to find something fun and new to try. Unfortunately, the only veggies that looked good were ones we had already tried. I will make up some sauteed zucchini with onion and garlic this evening and blend the extras for Dustin a place in the freeze. The easiest way for me to make his food is to just make extras of whatever my husband & I are going to eat.

To blend, you really do not have to have anything fancy. I use an Electric Food Mill. What I like best about this one is how quiet it is and easy to clean. Dustin freaks out by the sound of my food processor because it is so loud. Really, you can use any appliance that allows you to puree. Once it is to the consistency I desire, then I scoop into a freezer tray and wait for it to solidify. After it has hardened, I remove from tray an place in labeled freezer bags. This method allows me to reuse the freezer trays before Dustin has finished all of that fruit or vegetable.

Dustin seems to enjoy food better when I use a little bit of spice. For example, I pair green beans with basil and pepper, zucchini as mentioned above with garlic and onion, acorn squash with cinnamon and cumin, etc. I welcome any other suggestions you may have for flavor combinations. What is your child's favorite meal?

Get Out of My Head, I need Some Sleep

Postpartum depression and anxiety. We were all told about it while we were pregnant and supposedly knew what to look for. With your hormones doing crazy things, it is hard to recognize if you are experiencing "Baby Blues" or postpartum depression. For me, it took fantasizing for 3 days on the possibility and logistics of a parental "eject button" to realize that I needed to talk to someone. I was spending more and more time thinking about how I could escape from my role as a mom. The sobbing and sleeplessness for some reason seemed normal - go figure.

This hard to write about because I never wanted to admit I had lost control. One of the best things that happened to me was meeting a lactation consultant, Linda D., who was interested in my health, as well as my son's. She stated that if we took care of me, then my son would automatically improve. I have been having trouble with breastfeeding and milk supply since the beginning. At about 6 months, Dustin started losing weight and was label "failure to thrive" which is why I saw this lactation consultant.

During this time, I was having a difficult time sleeping because thoughts would play like a broken record in my head each time I tried to go to sleep. Usually, I watch Doris Day movies during these situations. Who can resist falling asleep while vegging out to a saccharin sweet comedy with an adorable blonde trying to find love? Alas, it is not possible to find her on everyday. When I did finally fall asleep, I never wanted to get out of bed. Enter into the my world of depression, exhaustion and anxiety. Linda suggested making an appointment to see a therapist.

Ok, I did not make this appointment right away because I was resisting the idea I really needed help. A few days later, when I was especially resenting my new role and the helplessness I was feeling, I made the appointment to see someone. Seeing a therapist was not an overnight fix-all. However, she has given me some ideas of ways to express myself, ie. this blog, and help me to be honest about what I am feeling. As GI Joe would say, "Knowing is half the battle."

The other half was medication. I was feeling better one the day to day, but still having trouble with the sleeplessness and anxiety. The truth of the matter is I have issues with needing to take anti-depressants and have been brought up to believe it is a sign of weakness. Setting that aside, I have been religious about taking the medication and noticing a difference. Each day I enjoy sharing in my son's experiences and developments, instead of dreading the moments he is awake. Whoo Hoo! Yay, Me!

Get Off the Phone & Pull Up Your Pants, DagNabIt!

Appropriate. I cannot say this is a word that I thought about much when I was single. Now, as I am watching TV, about town, etc, this word comes to mind quite frequently. How OLD am I? Remember when you were a teenager and your parents would ask you, "Are you going to leave the house dressed like that?" Wow, what a long time ago. Having a child has caused me to think like my parents or my grandparents, even. What is this world coming to? Next thing you know, I will be yelling at kids to get off my damn lawn.

Sorry, I clearly got off on a tangent. As times are changing, how will I know what is truly appropriate for my child? For example, Cell phones - I am totally against my child having a cell phone before they can drive. Yet, 5-year-olds are sporting these trendy hand-held jabber boxes and my child will be badgering me for one as soon as he can talk at this rate. What ever happened to using string and a tin can to hook up with your buds? Ok - I am not that old. We just stuck are head out the window, hollered for your friends to come out or we got off our butts and walked over to their house to see if they could play. See, no need for cell phones. That is just electronics, what about clothing?

Since I have a boy, I will have to concern myself with pants being in the "right" size and place. Why is it that the pants have gotten so large that you can hide a small country in them? Many times I have been out and about and seem a young man have to hold onto his pants while he was running to catch a bus or just walking across the street. If you cannot keep your pants up during normal activity, clearly there is something wrong. Granted before too big, trousers were too tight. This poses a whole other set of problems you can only imagine. Horrible to think that I may have to visit the emergency room to have my child's pants removed.

Lord knows I could go on with what is appropriate in reference to language, but I want to save something for the next time I feel the need to rant about this.

Sickness sweaps the household and I am left holding the broom

Sundays are my only day of rest. Usually, Rob will take the baby with him to church, so I can have 3-4 hours of uninterrupted sleep. Not, today. Both the baby and husband are sick. With everyone sick, I am on double duty.

There is so much I probably took for granted as I was growing up. When I was sick, no one took better care of me than my mom. Moms are there to make you feel loved and comforted, even though you feel so terrible. I should remember to call my mom and thank her.

Before I took on this new role, I was not very good at being a care giver. Well, I could do the function, but it was lacking in the comforting. Rob can tell you some stories of my fabulous "torture" while he was sick. Speaking of that, I need to make sure he is drinking water...

With Dustin is sick, I want to do everything I can to comfort him and make him feel loved. He gets a case of congestion, now and again. Each time there is little I can do for him, but suction out his nose, give him saline drops, elevate the bed and of course, hold him. Poor little guy sounds like a truffle snorting pig. Hopefully, my love for him can provide some solace.

Here's hoping that they are all better soon. Mary Poppins, where are you when I need you?

Balancing Superhero Complex, Trust and Selfishness

This is a topic that many moms are talking about and I have not figured out a proper way to balance it all out. Being plagued with wanting to do it all and yet falling short because I just do not have the energy.

Yesterday, I was talking with someone who said she had to cancel our get together because she was "feeling lazy". She may be my new role model. What I admire most about her is her honesty and ability to take care of herself. I take on too many obligations, rarely do anything I want to do and have a hard time being honest about it. Why do I feel the need to always put on a charade? What would be the worst thing that could happen if I said no and was honest about why I did not want to do something? It is difficult to measure up to this woman I think I should be and worse that I feel that I am always falling short.

Many people have asked if there anything that they can do for me. What does that mean? "Anything" is pretty big, vague and all encompassing. I never know what to ask for. Do these people really want to help or are they just being polite? Asking for assistance is rarely something I think about or am good at doing. However, if someone is in need I have no problem volunteering.

While writing this, I realize that it all boils down to trust. Not that I do not trust people with my son, but the kind of trust you have in a relationship where you finally feel comfortable exposing your vulnerable side. Asking for help reveals my vulnerability. It is like Superman with Kryptonite or the Wicked Witch with water. ;) Relaying the hardships after the fact is some how more acceptable to me than being honest about it while I am in that moment. Rob and I together for about 3-4 years before I felt comfortable enough with him to let my defenses down.

How do I learn to open myself up? One of my friends said I am selfish because I freely give of myself and reap the positive rewards, yet refuse to allow others the personal benefits from helping me. Interesting perspective... Clearly, this will take some work on my part.

Feeding the Monkey

As you may have read, I have had quite the trial with breastfeeding. Crazy as I am, I still have not give up, but have needed to start giving the monkey solids and formula supplementation to help him gain weight and continue to "thrive".

Since I have started with solids, I think Dustin has developed an additional stomach. He makes this face all day long with a grunting whine. In the beginning of the day it is adorable, but by 4 PM I am ready to put him on a bus.

Despite all the feeding, this child has only gained 1.5 lbs in the last 2 months. Funny that I was concerned that he was going to be a chunky monkey. The other day, I put a pair of 3-6 month pants on him and they fell right off. In addition to being lean, he comes from a long line of men with no butt. Too bad they do not make Mork suspenders for infants.

With all this food, has come a growth spurt. So Dustin is sleeping a lot and will soon no longer fit on the changing table [I painstakingly chose this for its matching hutch] to my husband's chagrin. Maybe... he will be leaping buildings in a single bound, as well. This mom thinks she will be thankful for just a healthy ordinary child, who day stops eating her out of house and home. Cheers!

Dustin Made a Friend

We went to our monthly mom's group get together. Dustin seems to really enjoy going out an meeting people. Dustin is not shy and smiles at every one. While there, he "asked" a soon-to-be mom to hold him/bounce on her lap, tugged and tasted the hair of his 3-year old girlfriend and made a new friend. He reached out and took the hand of another baby we were sitting next to. It was rather adorable that he had initiated this kind of connection. The other child responded kindly to Dustin's attempt at friendship and they were holding hands.

After almost 8 months, it is refreshing to realize that your child is on the road to no longer needing you as his only source of companionship. Soon, we will be having play dates where he actually plays with other children. He is becoming more of a person every day. Self-reliance here we come!

Is He a Child or a Puppy?

Yes, I talked about this the other day, but this afternoon Dustin found my flip flops and into his mouth they went. I thought you only had worry about this with puppies. Apparently, having a dog does prepare you for a child. Who knew...

Shoes are just gross and have been on the street and what not. It is the what not that I should probably be worrying about. I am encouraging him to chew on more desirable items like his RaZ-Berry or any of the other myriad of toys this spoiled child has. Yet, if my shoes or feet are in range, he is after them. How do I properly discourage this "foot/shoe fetish" and not make the forbidden more exciting?

Gone are the days of just laying him in the center of the gym and knowing he will still be there after I get back from the bathroom. I knew the day would come when he would be mobile, but I expected to have to worry about power cords or dangerous stuff. Well, Rob will be happy if Dustin's desire to eat my shoes gets me to stop leaving them all over the house. Dustin, you just made your father a happy man!

Breastfeeding, Low Supply and the Underweight Child

After reading a post on EmmieBee.com, I got to thinking... Why are many breastfed babies considered underweight? It seems that most of my friends have had the same diagnosis. Are we moms missing something, is the scale used to measure our children flawed or maybe, medial intervention is the problem? Is it some other reason entirely? I have been struggling with this issue for quite awhile. My plan was to breastfeed him exclusively for 1 year and then transition into solid food. As I am learning with motherhood, nothing has been going according to plan.

Many of the books I have read, specifically Mother Food and Making More Milk, state that some moms will experience a decrease in milk supply at about 4-6 months. Not wanting to be one of the "some", I have done many things to increase my supply to continue with my original plan. These included changing my diet (by removing all processed foods, sugars, etc), taking fenugreek supplements 4 times a day, and increasing the amount of and only drinking water. I am sure there are other things I have tried, but my brain is sparing me the torture by blocking it from my memory. ;) At some point, I was hoping I could gain some control over my body's ability to produce the one thing that I valued most in being a good mom. Folks, it was just not possible for me and I was making myself crazy trying. Ask my husband...

What is it about me and other moms that our milk supply drops off at 4-6 months, while still other moms can breastfeed a small nation? Your answer may be that every woman is different. Yeah, I get that but women have been nursing their children exclusively for centuries. What has changed in our society that it is not as possible?

One of the first lactation consultants I met with pointed out that I had medical intervention to get pregnant which went against the laws of nature and therefore, I should be more excepting of not being able to fully breastfeed my child. I suppose if I had not placed so much importance on breastfeeding that this explanation would have shed some light on the situation. This was not the case for me. Instead, I figured if the medical profession could get me pregnant, then they should be able to assist me with nursing my child.

Kaiser promotes breast is best in all of its literature. However, when it came to me and my child, it seemed that every where I turned some medical professional was saying that formula was the answer. If I was willing to put in the effort to explore other options, why was formula the only option offered to me?

I have finally come to accept that my supply is low. After a lot of experimentation and research, I have found a solution that works for Dustin (now, 7-months old) and I. We are still nursing and I supplement with formula through Medela's Supplemental Nursing System (SNS) . I got mine from a lactaion consultant, but Amazon also sells them. While Dustin nurses, he is able to draw the formula into his mouth through a small tube. This way I am able to keep up what supply I have and he still get all the benefits of nursing.

Products of the week

Today is my great pleasure to share with you the products that I have most recently fallen in love with.

Aden & Anais Muslin Wraps 4-Pack
- These are awesome because they are large and breathable, especially great for nursing in public. Since the weather is heating up, Dustin and I would get all sweaty and hot while nursing. These are better than the nursing covers for the reasons I mentioned above. The draw back is that they are expensive at $44 for 4. I feel that they are totally worth it and wish I had purchased them sooner rather than spending money on all the flannel receiving blankets. Other uses ...You can get them damp and they work like a swamp cooler if there is a breeze. Cover yourself while nursing and then cover the stroller afterward and keep the baby air-conditioned. I choose the patterned ones in blue and my son enjoys looking at them and of course placing it in his mouth. The uses are many. Enjoy discovering all the ways to make these blankets come in handy.

RaZberry Teether
- This chew toy is great for the early teether. It is light weight and easy for an infant to handle. The "berry" part is nubby and squishy, while the "leaves" and "stem" are firm and rubbery. This is not a pacifier, although it does look like one. Dustin enjoys chewing on this better than a frozen teether. It seems to get all the hard to reach places that only his fingers could get to before. Best part, less hand slobber to be put on your face.

Fisher-Price Booster Seat - Rainforest
-I was skeptical about purchasing this booster seat but needed it fast and the price was reasonable. My needs were met and then some. Dustin enjoys the toy tray and he is comfortable sitting in it for a while. We took it with us traveling. Each time we ate at a restaurant, there was minimal fussiness and he felt a part of the activity. Other times, I used it to feed him where we were staying and the ease of use is wonderful. The chair is lightweight, cleans up nicely and the shoulder strap makes it that much more portable. With the weight limit of 45 lbs, we can use this one for a while and not have to worry about buying something else in a few months. In addition, the seat can be raised or lowered which I thought was a handy feature. Granted, we did not notice that until we got home, but thought it could have been helpful. Would have liked it to be less obnoxiously colored, but otherwise a great purchase.

I hope you enjoy these as much as I have.

Pacifiers and Thumb-sucking

My well-meaning mother states, "It is better for a child to have a pacifier because you can throw it away. You cannot cut off his thumb, Danielle." Yes, that was my goal, to remove my child's thumb. Where does she come up with this stuff? She has said this so many times, I was starting to think I was setting my child up for a lifetime of addiction because I was so quick to place a pacifier in his mouth rather than let him soothe himself. Thankfully, I never pulled his thumb out of his mouth and replaced with a pacifier. I figured if he wanted it in there and he was quiet, it worked for me. However, if he started to get fussy, I popped a paci in there.

Good news, I noticed this morning while nursing that he has not been using either much lately. I think it is because the teething has slowed down. He is 7 months old and has 5 teeth already. Number 6 is due any day now. His first two bottom teeth came in at 2.5 months and it was difficult to find things that he could hold and teeth on. Now, that he is a bit older, he is able to chew on other things like the legs of the furniture or whatever he can get his hands on. I need to place a "Beware of child" sign around his neck because if your hand, arm, toes, watch, zipper pull (anything, really) are near his mouth, he wants to chew on it. The world is his chew toy and you are just tasty.

Over the last few days he has started to "crawl". I have a feeling that nothing will be safe from him mouth soon. Baby proofing is on my list of to-dos, but I have been dreading it. My house is a mess and although I have been advertising for a cleaning fairy, one has yet to make an appearance. Will be sure to let you know as soon as I get one, in case she has family also in the "business". In the mean time, I pray for the ambition and energy to get things in order. Where is the nesting compulsion when you really need it?

Avocado adventures

Online or in a book somewhere, I read that avocados make great finger foods for babies. My son is 7 months old and enjoying his new journey into food-dom. Avocados are soft and seemed like a good idea. Boy, was I wrong! First of all, I have managed to keep the daily food experiences fairly clean and under control. Avocados as finger food, what was I thinking? This mess was out of control, not to mention the fact that little if any made it into his mouth. Good thing I had him in a Onesie that was getting too small, since it is now stained with brownish-green gack.

*Advice to self, wait until child is old enough to eat outside untethered before trying avocados, again, unsupervised with hose standing by.*